The Person

I remember that day. It was September 14th, time was around 8:30 PM. I was at a dingy PCO, talking to the person, for whom I had the tenderest feeling. I loved chatting with him, sharing anything with him, unburdening myself whenever I felt like it. Though I had inkling, that today our talks might acquire a special dimension. But I was not sure. Amrit had warned me in advance, he hated emotional confusions. And if I had any special feeling for him, I must spell it out. I was expecting his questions. He kept asking about my feelings. And I kept saying; I liked him, I respected him, whenever he was happy I was floating in the air. The minute I heard his discordant notes, I was agitated like nothing. I just wanted to wipe out all his troubles, as a person wiped his sweat from forehead with a hanky. I cared for him. Etc . etc. etc. But he was not satisfied. His cynical reply was “I can say all this to Suzy” (his pet dog). In my haste, I blurted out, “OK If caring for you, being concerned with your happiness & despair, sharing almost everything with you, doesn’t mean I love you then what does it signify? Of course I love you”. Suddenly I heard the lighthearted laughter of Amrit, over the phone. And the realization dawned on me, that I had said, for the first time, what I never uttered to anyone in my entire life. Though, I dreamt of saying it to someone very special, someday, somewhere but certainly not announcing it, from dingy glass chamber of a PCO, which was overcrowded, people tapping impatiently over the door, signaling me to finish my talks soon, some eying me suspiciously. I definitely dreamt of another setting, and the person should be present in three dimensions. At least, I thought these were the minimum requirements. Till that day, we did not even have the slightest physical contact. And over a stupid instrument, holding hands was impossible. But no, nothing diminished my happiness. That phone receiver looked like the cutest thing in the world. I put it gently in the cradle and came out, engrossed in my own world, oblivious to my surroundings. I always knew, he was not a time specific, place specific, goal specific and peer pressure specific entity to me. There are billions and billions of people in this world, but for me there is only one person, Amrit. And finally, I found him. I no longer was a wanderer.