Alka Dwivedi

Tag: Relationships

  • Intimacy – the Best Stress Buster for Couples!

    The result of this research finding is not very different from the obvious. BUT I think that findings hold an element of universal truth. We often feel relieved after sharing our woes with parents or siblings. Kissing, embracing, holding hand, a warm glance of our parents, siblings or friends blow away our blues, no matter in what stage of life we are in.

    Results of a recent study have said that couples who hug and kiss have lower stress hormone levels in their bodies especially if they are married.

    The week long Swiss study by researchers from the University of Zurich in Switzerland, of 51 German couples who were mostly married checked the cortisol levels in their saliva. Cortisol, a hormone in the body, also responsible for several stress-related changes in the body, is secreted by the adrenal glands, has been termed “the stress hormone” because high levels of it are secreted during the body’s ‘fight or flight’ response. Small increases in cortisol have positive effects on the body like helping in proper glucose metabolism and regulation of blood pressure. Higher levels of cortisol are seen in the morning with its lowest levels at night.

    What is more important is we HAVE to nurture, develop and protect this kind of intimacy. It doesn’t spring up naturally. Now the million dollar question is, do we have time for such nurturing and caring?

    Beate Ditzen of Zurich University, who conducted the research said intimacy seemed to improve the hormone levels by boosting the mood. She stressed that it was not intimacy per se that was needed but couples finding things they could do together that would create positive feelings for each other. The definition of intimacy differs from couple to couple and Dr Ditzen said. “This means that there is no specific behavior that couples should show in everyday life. Rather, all kinds of behavior which couples themselves would consider intimate… might be beneficial,” the expert added.

    I wish next they find out how couples develop such kind of intimacy. Because its not a sum total of physical acts only. That will go kaput soon.

  • ‘Hotties’ Not So Hot?

    Is it really true that love is blind? Whatever articles or fiction I read on love paint a rosier than rosy picture of love. But what I have seen in real life is more of a bizarre kind of emotions than actual love. Love makes you think and do many awkward things that you won’t do when you are thinking normally. I have seen sane headed persons behaving in most illogical manner. But a recent online study tell the same thing.

    In an experiment with college students in long-term relationships, researchers at UCLA and the online dating service eHarmony found that asking coeds to reflect on the love they felt for their boyfriends or girlfriends blunted the appeal of especially attractive members of the opposite sex.

    When people are in love they don’t remember the USP of the hot alternatives presented to them such as curvaceous body or toned muscles. Then what do they remember of the “other” hot prospects?

    “These people could remember the color of a shirt or whether the photo was taken in New York, but they didn’t remember anything tempting about the person,” Gonzaga said. “It’s not like their overall memory was impaired; it’s as if they had selectively screened out things that would make them think about the how attractive the alternative was.”
    “One of the biggest threats to a relationship is an attractive alternative to your loved one — or that attractive woman at work or the hot guy you meet in the bar,” Gonzaga said. “In subtle ways that you might not even notice, the gushy feelings you get when you think of your partner help you fend off these threats.”

    So it really seems true that love triumphs all or most of the obstacles. 🙂

  • Relationships

    Today, when I was listening to the news, ”Sanjay Dutt jailed for six years.” I felt quite sad. I remember Monica Bedi. She too had spent more or less five years in jail. Then I remember Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan. What is the matter with these people? Don’t they love their parents, siblings, partners and kids? Or is it all the way I, me, myself route? I will do what I like; rest of you can go to hell. But be there when I mess things up. When everything is back to normal, just leave me alone, my dear family. Is that what they think? Aren’t the family members of these persons bore the burnt of their actions? Isn’t the family of Dutt’s also sentenced to invisible imprisonment? What about Dutt’s daughter? What has she done? Why should she suffer? Hasn’t she suffered already? First losing her mother and then physically separated from her father all the time. When should her ordeal come to an end?

    Instead of delving into the technicalities of the sentence meted out to Sanjay Dutt, I was just thinking, if people simply value people around them, they will be involved into troubles a bit less. If Sanjay Dutt would have paused a bit and thought about his family, he would not have been into drugs and have not been friendly with mafia. The mafia was pestering Shahrukh Khan for six years but instead of falling into their trap, he was intelligent enough to stay clear of these people. Today he is still soaring high in acting sky and happy with his kids and wife.

    But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t have an individual within us. That we should only live and die for our family. And that individual shouldn’t clash with the family. It should lock horns with the parents and siblings, but not about my right to take drugs and getting involved with criminals. Drugs and criminals respect no one and ultimately the person will behave accordingly.

    I think one should value relationships in life, be it parents, siblings, cousins or partners. It will stop us from many “shouldn’t dos” in life. We shouldn’t take the affection and love of our people for granted. If we do, most probably we will end up in our own company in the later stage of the life.