Relationships

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Today, when I was listening to the news, ”Sanjay Dutt jailed for six years.” I felt quite sad. I remember Monica Bedi. She too had spent more or less five years in jail. Then I remember Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan. What is the matter with these people? Don’t they love their parents, siblings, partners and kids? Or is it all the way I, me, myself route? I will do what I like; rest of you can go to hell. But be there when I mess things up. When everything is back to normal, just leave me alone, my dear family. Is that what they think? Aren’t the family members of these persons bore the burnt of their actions? Isn’t the family of Dutt’s also sentenced to invisible imprisonment? What about Dutt’s daughter? What has she done? Why should she suffer? Hasn’t she suffered already? First losing her mother and then physically separated from her father all the time. When should her ordeal come to an end?

Instead of delving into the technicalities of the sentence meted out to Sanjay Dutt, I was just thinking, if people simply value people around them, they will be involved into troubles a bit less. If Sanjay Dutt would have paused a bit and thought about his family, he would not have been into drugs and have not been friendly with mafia. The mafia was pestering Shahrukh Khan for six years but instead of falling into their trap, he was intelligent enough to stay clear of these people. Today he is still soaring high in acting sky and happy with his kids and wife.

But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t have an individual within us. That we should only live and die for our family. And that individual shouldn’t clash with the family. It should lock horns with the parents and siblings, but not about my right to take drugs and getting involved with criminals. Drugs and criminals respect no one and ultimately the person will behave accordingly.

I think one should value relationships in life, be it parents, siblings, cousins or partners. It will stop us from many “shouldn’t dos” in life. We shouldn’t take the affection and love of our people for granted. If we do, most probably we will end up in our own company in the later stage of the life.

Relationships

Comments

19 responses to “Relationships”

7/31/2007

Sudipta Chatterjee

Such is life…
7/31/2007

Rohit Tripathi

Gentle reminder

“nice post, and need u r help also pls tell he how can i add a video clip and social bookmarks on y blog, waiting for u r valuable answer, thank you”
8/1/2007

Paavani

truely said.
There are many good things to follow.
But if there is nothing bad How would be a good one will be distinguish.
8/1/2007

Alka

Sudipta, the irony is such life can easily be avoided. That’s what my post is all about.

Rohit, if you want to upload any video you have to link it to your blog post. You can upload it at youtube and then link it to your post.

Paavani, you mean Sanjay Dutt wants us to distinguish between good and bad that’s why he has done all this? 😉
8/1/2007

AmitL

Hi,Alka…well, I don’t know whether I feel sad about Sanjay-I mean, I felt sorrier for the movie-makers,who have banked a few millions on him. In any case, I am sure, since he’s a celeb, the Supreme Court will pardon him,when the case goes into appeal there.Right?Incidentally, have you ever thought- these strange tricks God plays- he makes you stray now and then, then, regret, then, pardoned and you feel happy again….:)BTW, do note my new blog url..shifted to blogspot, since rediff’s again playing up.
8/1/2007

maverick

oops i had started commenting on this post very earlier, but guess i missed it out.

its indeed very difficult to strike a balance between doing wat u want while not ruining others expectations. i have this crisis too.

abt sanjubaba i really feel the same way u do, but watz important tht he realized his mistake ultimately and is trying to become a better person. why shdn’t the court help him?
8/2/2007

Manish

Though I agree with the theme of the post, but I rally differ on the punishment part.
8/2/2007

–Sunrise–

“Isn’t the family of Dutt’s also sentenced to invisible imprisonment? What about Dutt’s daughter? What has she done? Why should she suffer? Hasn’t she suffered already? First losing her mother and then physically separated from her father all the time. When should her ordeal come to an end?”

But Ma’am – if I may say so.. I apologise for ‘barging in’, as such.. – if every court thinks on the basis of how the punishment will affect the family, then there would be very limited progress, don’t you feel? Because every person has a loved one, who will be affected by punishments of imprisonment.. and if one were to think on such basis, the punishments would be less harsh (and possibly unfairly so).. what message will that give to the nation? That it is OK to mess up, you won’t be dealt with accordingly for it? Or that because a person has family who will be affected, it is OK to mess up?

I realise this sounds harsh, possibly cold, but I feel that a court’s duty is to act according to what would be just – not just for the individual, but also for the bigger picture.
8/2/2007

prancer

http://www.rediff.com/news/2007/jul/31jk.htm

I salute Col. Vasanth Venugopal and people like him.

Vande Mataram
8/2/2007

Alka

AmitL, God, fate, destiny all are very complicated subjects for me. I never understand the way God functions. And what I see, He seems to be a very bad manager. Not managing things properly.

Manish, What do you think about the punishment part? too much? too little? he should be set free?

Sunrise, welcome. What you have said I fully endorse your view. You are not harsh but in extreme haste. But sir/mam, if you have cared to read my post with a bit of attention, you would have realized I WAS blaming Sanjay Dutt and other celebrities for the plight of their families not the judiciary in the first paragraph.
8/2/2007

Alka

Prancer, thank you very much for such valuable links. Due to people like him, I am sitting safely in my home and doing whatever I want. I don’t write much otherwise I WILL START BEING CYNICAL ABOUT MAINSTREAM MEDIA AND SECULARISTS.
8/3/2007

Prudent Indian

Alka,I feel any sympathy for Sanjay is ‘grossly’ misplaced.For me it is important that justice has been meted out. indeed,it would have been ‘very shameful’ had he been shown any sympathy for any other reason than the pure merit of facts.

As for relations and relationship,well as it being very subjective and depends on individuals and this is “Precisely” what Sanjay ignored and is paying for.He could not have chosen the worst people to befriend with!
PI
8/6/2007

Manish

I think 15-18 months of solitary confinement in Tihar jail was sufficient for keeping illegaly a gun, not to intended to use it ever.

The fine print of keeping that gun was a terrorist act – I think 99.99% Indians must not be knowing. How many of us actually know about the various acts of IPC, forget TADA?
8/7/2007

Praney

You are right in a way Manish, but in my view it’s not only about keeping an illegal weapon.

How many of us can contact gangsters or terrorists for buying even a pen (leave the weapon) ? Can YOU get a phone number of any terrorist for me? Or lets say will you even share a common room for even five minutes with any Anti Indian Terrorist those who can kill any innocent Indian for bloody jehaad or such crap? And how can you say he was not intend to use it?

It is much more than keeping an illegal weapon (though the punishment is meant for the said offence) but he was in contact with underworld and persons accused in bomb blasts. If he was not aware of those guys at the time of deal, did he voluntarily went to police for information?

Unawareness of law can never be excuse for committing a crime.
8/8/2007

wavesnsands

hi alka
We have a guy who made mistakes, who didn’t think about the people he would leave behind to suffer, who apparently kept borrowed weapons form the mafia because his family was threatened, who already knew that crimes are punishable(having already spent time in jail), who apparently(again) seems to have had enough regret and repenting to last a life-time…and he is sent back..why?? Because it is justice and every law breaker deserves to be punished.
But your view on it is a very different than what the media and the film industry are professing. Why did he not think of his family? I so agree with you. It is important to have that somebody to think of when you take decisions. And having such people around you is not enough(look at the great man he had for a father!!); respecting their feelings and constantly reminding yourself about them is also necessary.
8/11/2007

sanguine

i did think the punishment meted out to him was a tad harsher , but here i am being biased coz i dont really know what the law says .
but my heart went out to his sister running from pillar to post . yes , u said it well it is the family which pays for their acts . look at the family in b’lore which wl have to live with social stigma , loss of son … the pain . i cant imagine being ever happy if someone i love goes through all that , whether it is their fault or not , criminal or not .
8/14/2007

prancer

Wish Everyone A Happy Independence Day

Jai Hind

Vande Mataram

🙂
8/21/2007

jarvarm

I agree with you totally, Alka.
Sanjay’s deeds and their after-effects would be a great lesson for many..
4/6/2011

Veena Shivanna

Your blog posts are very brief and concise. The message comes across so neatly. You have an appropriate examples to quote, which gives an exact message you want to. I fell in love with your writing.

Will come back and read the rest from now on. Thanks for writing and caring for others. Keep it going..

Thanks
Veena