Alka Dwivedi

Intimacy – the Best Stress Buster for Couples!

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Alka

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The result of this research finding is not very different from the obvious. BUT I think that findings hold an element of universal truth. We often feel relieved after sharing our woes with parents or siblings. Kissing, embracing, holding hand, a warm glance of our parents, siblings or friends blow away our blues, no matter in what stage of life we are in.

Results of a recent study have said that couples who hug and kiss have lower stress hormone levels in their bodies especially if they are married.

The week long Swiss study by researchers from the University of Zurich in Switzerland, of 51 German couples who were mostly married checked the cortisol levels in their saliva. Cortisol, a hormone in the body, also responsible for several stress-related changes in the body, is secreted by the adrenal glands, has been termed “the stress hormone” because high levels of it are secreted during the body’s ‘fight or flight’ response. Small increases in cortisol have positive effects on the body like helping in proper glucose metabolism and regulation of blood pressure. Higher levels of cortisol are seen in the morning with its lowest levels at night.

What is more important is we HAVE to nurture, develop and protect this kind of intimacy. It doesn’t spring up naturally. Now the million dollar question is, do we have time for such nurturing and caring?

Beate Ditzen of Zurich University, who conducted the research said intimacy seemed to improve the hormone levels by boosting the mood. She stressed that it was not intimacy per se that was needed but couples finding things they could do together that would create positive feelings for each other. The definition of intimacy differs from couple to couple and Dr Ditzen said. “This means that there is no specific behavior that couples should show in everyday life. Rather, all kinds of behavior which couples themselves would consider intimate… might be beneficial,” the expert added.

I wish next they find out how couples develop such kind of intimacy. Because its not a sum total of physical acts only. That will go kaput soon.

Comments

5 responses to “Intimacy – the Best Stress Buster for Couples!”

  1. Suvro Chatterjee Avatar
    Suvro Chatterjee

    Families which hug a lot are definitely much happier and closer than those where it seems strange, awkward, or is frowned upon. I am glad to say that I have always known this instinctively – no research findings were ever required! – and my wife and daughter have benefitted from it quite as much as I have myself. Far too many people, alas, imagine they can substitute material gifts for physical closeness and warmth without damaging their relationships!

    Would it be out of place to say that I, the same person, find PDA disgusting, or at least stinking too much of crude exhibitionism? I won’t, fundamentalist-fashion, order people hugging and smooching (or more!) in public to be flogged or jailed, but I certainly would never do it myself, nor want to see it in others or can respect those who indulge in it. Intimacy, in my book, should be inseparable from privacy unless, like lesser animals, we are not bothered by considerations of dignity.

  2. Paradox Avatar
    Paradox

    I think there are two components to it: 1. The feeling of intimacy and 2. The manifestation of this feeling in the form of hugging, kissing, cuddling etc.

    Would a person still benefit if he got a hug as a mechanical gesture?

    Suppose a kid hugs you lovingly, but you are too occupied thinking about work, would you still get the benefits? In fact, I would suggest a third component in the form one’s ability to register, appreciate and respond to such gestures.

  3. AmitL Avatar
    AmitL

    Hi,Alka- as you said, it’s ‘stating the obvious’,but,still, such research does reassure one that sharing one’s thoughts/feelings,as also touch,kiss,hug,etc all serve to make one feel better. As you said adroitly in the end, it’s not just a sum total of physical acts.How true!!
    On another thought process, how do they explain the fact that people abroad, for example, the lakhs of workers in Dubai, who earn just barely enough to send money to their family monthly and visit their homes maybe once in 2-4 years, still remain happy? Perhaps that’d involve a different sort of research.

  4. Suvro Chatterjee Avatar
    Suvro Chatterjee

    ‘Paradox’ has made a very, very important point. Yes, a great deal of loving does indeed go waste when it is not appreciated and reciprocated. And there are few pains greater than gestures of affection being ignored – or even mocked at.

    I guess some of us are just plain lucky!

  5. white magpie Avatar
    white magpie

    well, extreme stress definitely brings a rise in intimacy. you only have to read the statistics provided after 911, Gulf war etc. Daily stress usually causes a dip in the libido but extreme situations usually result in umm.. A pity it is not recorded here in India. BTW, its interesting to know that researchers make a living doling out such information hehe..

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