Alka Dwivedi

Category: Social Trends

  • Carry A Bag

    One day, I was reading my Twitter timeline and saw one message retweeted by someone. It carried photographs of Prabhu Ghat of Varanasi, Prime Minister, Narendra Modi’s constituency. The ghat was looking divine in the light. If you have visited any religious place in India, you know how scarce attention is given to the basic level of hygiene.  It’s almost non-existent.

    Here, this girl was posting photograph after photograph. For weeks she had been cleaning the ghats and had also motivated a group of youngsters to join her and this was the reason why the ghat looked so divine in the photographs. My heart swelled with pride.  I searched her Twitter handle and followed her immediately. She was Temsutula Imsong, the girl from Nagaland, who fell in love with the ghats in Varanasi and decided to clean them up.

    Her work reminded me of another person, my own mom-in-law. She is an amazing woman in many respects. I have never seen her littering since I have become a part of her family. What surprised me most was when I travelled with her for the first time. It was a trip to a hospital.  Since she is diabetic, she can’t afford to remain hungry for long. She always carries some bananas, oranges, apples, sugar free biscuits or peanuts to eat to maintain her blood sugar level.  The hospital was far from our house. After a while she peeled an orange and I saw she put the seeds and peels in a small polybag. Whatever, she ate, its remains found their way into the small garbage bag. When we had tea, she even put the cups in the same polythene bag. When we reached home, she put that bag in the dustbin.

    It may not sound much, but have a look at this diagram, what will happen if you ‘carry a bag’ with you.

    Carry A Bag

    • Ease Of Use:  You can always carry a small polythene or garbage bag with you in your purse or bag.  If you have more than one, you can share it with your family members or co-passengers.
    • Affordability:  It’s super affordable.  You don’t have to belong to a particular strata of society to afford garbage bags. Encourage your family, friends and staff to carry a bag with them wherever they go.
    • No Dependency on Public Dustbins:  We often crib about lack of dustbins in our country. Carrying a bag is a very simple solution to this. You won’t have to waste time on finding a dustbin, if you have a small carry bag with you.
    • No dependency on Car Companies to Provide You With Dustbins:  You can easily, ‘carry a bag’ in your own transport or bus or taxi. You can encourage others to do the same.
    • Lessen the Burden of Cleaning Staff:  Our municipal cleaning department is understaffed and overworked. So if we carry our own garbage and don’t litter our public places, it will lessen their burden a bit.
    • Kids Can Be Initiated into This Easily:  When you are travelling with kids, just give them their own ‘carry bags’ or if they are too small, share yours with them. When they grow up, they will imbibe this habit and won’t litter our public places.

    Please do carry a bag with you whether you are travelling to office, school, college or heading towards a holiday destination or going to watch a movie or a cricket or a  football match.

  • Mothers, You Are Failing Miserably Somewhere

    Mothers, You Are Failing Miserably Somewhere

    This is an open letter to the mothers on the occasion of the International Women’s Day

    Dear Mothers,

    Since today is International Women’s Day. I want to write this to you. It pains my heart when I hear that women are getting raped, female fetus being aborted, girls remaining uneducated, girls being eve teased, officers taking bribes, females molested on the roads. Yes, when a situation happens on the road or office or building its a law and order problem. The less said about the law and order and justice system in our country the better. It’s practically non-existent. But question of law and order arises when a crime happens. Before that mother’s should answer some questions because “The Hand That Rocks the Cradle Is the Hand That Rules the World”. Time for some introspection, mothers:

    • Why your son turns into a rapist?
    • Why your son is a molester?
    • Why your son eve teases?
    • Why your son harasses females sexually?
    • Why your son is a wife beater?
    • Why your son takes dowry?
    • Why your son takes bribes and indulges in corruption?
    • Why your son can’t get up and offer tea and refreshments when guests arrive?
    • Why your son can’t change nappies and wash utensils?
    • Why your son has to be taken care of like a baby by his wife?

    What people see is that males leave their homes in the morning for work leaving kids with mothers and come back home in the evening. What are you doing with your sons during that hours? Even if, you are working, you come into contact with your kids for far greater hours than your husbands. Please my dear mothers, introspect on International Women’s Day instead of playing victims and indulging in chest beating. What kind of sons you are raising? Stats say you are failing somewhere in your responsibility. These questions are being addressed to educated liberated mothers, not to illiterates residing in villages.

    Dear liberated, “convent educated” and working mothers, care to answer some questions regarding your daughters too?

    • You brought up your daughter like a son. You made no discrimination while providing her education, food and clothes. Why at the time of her marriage she turns up into a village belle and offers no resistance when you offer dowry (fine, you may call them gifts, but everybody knows it’s dowry)?
    • Your daughter is very independent and enlightened when it comes to clubbing, pubbing and choosing boyfriends. Why you have to “arrange” her love marriage bearing all the expenses?
    • Why your extremely modern daughter laps up all the goodies at the time of marriage? Any self respecting, parent-loving female will have a nervous break down while doing this.
    • I remember Hindi poetess Subhadra Kumari Chauhan, who wrote the famous peom, “Khoob Ladi Mardani Woh To Jhansi Walli Rani Thi” rejecting her daughter’s Kanya Daan on the ground that She is a human being, not atta, chawal, daal or cow to be donated to someone. She had the guts to do this in early 20th Century! What about your 21st century Generation XYZ (lost count) daughter? Does she even remotely discuss with you on these issues?
    • While clubbing, pubbing and making boyfriends your daughter doesn’t care about social norms and society. How come during marriage she becomes MUCH traditional and cares SO MUCH about societal norms?
    • How come your daughter becomes ultra mod while lapping up privileges but turns extra docile and traditional when it comes to shouldering responsibilities? Why it’s all about meetha meetha gup gup, kadwa kadwa thoo thoo? What kind of parenting is this?

    Today is International Women’s Day. For once, dear modern, liberated, convented working women, instead of playing victims and crying out loud, try introspection. It will do far greater good to you and society than some chest beating. If you want respect, earn it. You can’t demand it.

    Image source

  • Wedding Decorations and Dresses

    This post was triggered by a TV program. I was surfing and just saw the last five minutes of it. Here people were sending wedding decor and dresses related queries. What the adviser said as a casual remark struck with me. She said, ‘when you get inspired with Business tycoon and Bollywood style weddings remember what they spend on their weddings is their 1 to 10% income, not their parents’ whole life savings or major savings of their parents.’ Later on she also added an afterthought: “WOh bhi aaj kal ki shaadiyan, jinka koi bharosa nahi ki kab tak tikengi! (That too today’s marriages about whom no one knows how long they are going to last)”

    It really sets me thinking. Really Bollywood or Hollywood or Business Tycoons spend a minuscule part of their income on weddings. If you add up their total income and what they spend on their wedding it will open your eyes. While an average Indian father starts worrying about her daughter’s wedding quite early. Sometimes the day they are born. When we go for a lavish wedding or a dress that you will hardly going to wear in future, think for a while. You might think of a better use of the money.

  • Aruna Shanbaug

    Aruna Shanbaug
    Aruna Shanbaug

    Today Supreme Court has struck down the mercy killing plea of Aruna Shanbaug filed by Pinki Virani . But a debate on euthanasia. has started in the country. People are voicing their opinion on social media sites such as Facebook and Twitter actively. Columinists like Bachi Karkaria and others are showing their outrage at the condition of Aruna Shanbaug.
    As Sify News says, “Aruna Shanbhag, a nurse from Haldipur, Shimoga, Karnataka, was assaulted by a Sohanlal Bhartha Walmiki, a ward boy at Mumbai’s King Edward Memorial Hospital in 1973.”
    Since then Aruna Shanbhug is living like a vegetable. The Nursing Staff of KEMH is taking care of for more than three decades. You can’t spot a minor sore in Aruna Shanbaug’s body. Aruna’s fiancé had waited for four years to improve her condition. But ultimately moved on with his life. Today he is happily married with grown up kids.
    As petitioner Pinki Virani says, ” I worked like a woman possessed. Eventually, all the necessary documents found their way to me. I would make the effort, jump for it, die for it, and the damn file would turn up. That is how I got her personal file in KEM, her special neurological file and even the names and numbers of people who knew her.”

    Actually my mind was not with Aruna Shanbaug but with Sohanlal Bhartha Walmiki. What happened to that guy? Was he punished? Had he suffered too? Or only Aruna Shanbaug was condemned to be imprisoned in her own body? What happened to the rapist? He was booked under robbery and served seven years in jail for the crime. THEN? He coolly served his sentence came out changed his name and city and worked in another hospital. Every pore of any conscious person will scream that’s so U-N-F-A-I-R.

    What does current scenario tells about our society? We GO for the victim. Bachi Karkaria, Pinki Virani have done so much for Aruna Shanbaug someone else could have put the same effort and clout Pinki Virani has written a book Aruna’s Story. The part of the royalty from this book goes to Aruna Shanbaug and after her death it will go to some women’s organization.

    But one question can’t escape my mind. Why no one tried to reopen the case and tried to punish the guilty? Even today we all are talking about Aruna Shanbaug’s death or right to live. A SURE SIGN OF A COWARD SOCIETY. We specialize in going for the victim. What about Aruna Shanbaug’s right to justice? What about punishing the aggressor? Actually we have not moved away much from the history. If aggressors used to abduct our women, put them in veils. If aggressors used to abduct brides, shift the wedding timings from dawn to night. If abductors defeated us, tell our women to perform Johar or Sati. We might have started frequenting pubs and discs but mentality is still more than six hundred centuries old.

    Aruna Shanbaug we are sorry. We can’t give you justice but worry about your D-E-A-T-H. Why you chose to born in this cowardly society?

    PS: Aruna Shanbaug died today on 18 May, 2015. She was world’s oldest comatose patient. May her soul rest in peace. Hope she is in a better place now.

  • If More and More of Us Can Imitate These Cool Dudes

    I have read about some real dudes. Though they belong to a very small place but their work is worth emulating. Is there any solution that on Vijayadashmi, we can do something else with Durga Idol instead of immersing it in our already polluted rivers? Will we be able to find out a way. I find some good news from Kanpur (U.P.).

     

    paperscan1

    Source: Dainik Jaagran (29/09/09)

    And some more good news:

    Novel idea to check pollution in Ganga.

    Kanpur’s city mayor Ravindra Patni and Rajeev Sharma, municipal commissioner identified around five different ghats for Durga Utsav Committees to bury the deity’s idol in the sand instead of water immersion.

    "Although, nothing is absolute, but for the sake of saving Ganga, we had to sought for an alternative and no better alternative than this. We are hopeful that the efforts would be fruitful in sensitizing the masses and creating awareness about the eco-friendly moves to be taken even during the festivals," pointed Rakesh Jaiswal, a city based environmentalist welcoming the idea.

    I wish if more and more of us can follow this new tradition. They are the real cool dudes on which MSM doesn’t want to waste sound bites.

  • Cool Dudes?

    I read this screaming headline. Girls assaulted at Mangalore pub

    The activists of Sri Rama Sena entered the Amnesia Bar and Restaurant on Dr Shivaram Karanth Road on Saturday evening and threatened the women sitting inside. The men, who took objection to women drinking alcohol, pushed them outside, many women falling to the ground while they were being driven out.

    Well what happened at Mangalore is a condemnable incident and events like this shouldn’t happen in a liberal society. But I am wondering about one thing. What the cool dudes accompanying these hapless girls were doing? Or for a change imagine, that these girls were visiting the bar alone or in a group. But what were the males present in Mangalore bar having higher conscious level than these hooligans were doing? Watching those girls being beaten up and pushed around? Or they were thinking on the similar lines of the goons of Sri Ram Sena, since they were drinking so they deserve such treatment? Come on cool dudes, you must had outnumbered those gundas at the Mangalore bar. So where were your biceps at that time?

    What the media was doing apart from filming the Mangalore bar incident? Capturing the Sri Ram Sena’s Ravans’ act was more important than dialing to police? Where was that type of chest beating when Taslima Nasreen was attacked? Do they ever understand that this kind of selective reporting takes away their credibility?

  • Disguised Bahenji

    Chandigarh among worst in male-female ratio
    Aborted female foetuses found in Gurgaon
    Judiciary in Punjab steps in to tackle female foeticide

    I don’t think I am giving links to any new news. But as always I was wondering what happened to those parents who welcomed female child with open arms? They educated us like their sons. They clothed us better than their sons. They never hesitated even for a second when we pursued professional education. The shine on their faces were brighter than ours, when we got employed in multinationals. Now what have we done in return?

    1. We treated our salary as pocket money. It never occurred once that we can do something for “our” household. I have seen scores of boys sending some money at least to their mothers every month.
    2. See, we have become very enlightened. We have many relationships in our hearts and between our legs. We never hesitate in pubbing and clubbing and visiting disc but when its time to get married, again we get the best of BOTH traditional and modern world. We get married with our parents’ money. We try to follow Americans by speaking, writing and having a good time like them, but when it comes to marriage expenses we again become coy traditional Mummy and Daddyjis’ little girls. I have seen very few FEMALES who insisted during marriage that they will mange their fridge, TV, furniture, cutlery etc. The more we can extract from our parents the better.
    3. After marriage we intimate our parents from time to time, how our in-laws live. How they follow certain standard and how our parents should shower gifts on us and our in-laws on festive seasons keeping THAT standard in mind.
    4. I have seen one girl to buy jewelry for her mother or one of my cousins to help her father in sorting out financial matters. Otherwise its always the parents who are buying various things for us or bailing their little girls out of miseries.
    5. Heaven forbids, if one of our parents falls sick, its always the son who will spend money on doctors’ bill.

    It is TIME for US to think, what are we doing after being treated fairly and equally by our parents? Have we changed the mindset even of our families? Forget the societies. Are we setting examples by rejecting dowry? Are we willing to look after our parents at any stage of their lives? Have any of us even think of loosening our purse strings for a good holiday for our parents? If not, then why anyone would WANT us? Everybody is here, due to his or her utility value. What value we have ADDED after getting same treatment as a son? Can society proudly proclaim that educated daughters are no headaches? They behave as sons. NO! We have become biggest MAUKATARIANS, enjoying the best of traditional as well modern world.