Alka Dwivedi

Category: Tags

  • Five Things

    Amit tagged me ages ago. He says I have to tell five things about myself which are hidden from people. I think it will not be about my dark side. Amit, I don’t think, people will be interested in knowing about me. But still, I am writing.

    1. I am an incredible, incurable, hopeless romantic. (Not of that kind that someone from charismatic, magnetic, enigmatic Gandhi family will save India and our future is safe in their hands only.) I always believe in happy ending. But altogether life is different and throws its surprises at us mercilessly. But it didn’t deter me from dreaming that one day everything will be fine. And it really turns out so.
    2. I love reading. I used to be a voracious reader. But not now. If I get time on my hand I wish to read every good book written till date on this earth. But for this I have to live indefinitely on this blue planet. Sadly this is not going to happen.
    3. At one point of time, I wanted to be an athlete. But I was too shy to go to a stadium for practice. I didn’t even tell anyone at home. I just asked my sister to chalk out a schedule for me. Which she did. I practiced in secrecy. When everyone had gone to bed or busy in television serials, I used to run and exercise. For strengthening my calf muscles, I used to tie bricks on my feet and exercised. I even used to exercise in a water tank for toning my legs. When I appeared for selection trial, there WAS a crowd. A chill ran down my spine. With the sound of pistol, I just closed my eyes and ran. I opened it once and saw two girls ahead of me. No, this couldn’t happen to me. I increased the pace. And soon no one was ahead of me. I told everything at home only when I was questioned why was I too late from the university. Then I proudly showed the newspaper announcing University team!!!
    4. I don’t use this technique now. But I used it to perfection in the past. On a stretch of lonely road, whenever I spot any eve teaser, I simply geared myself for an Oscar performance. The minutes the eve teaser tried the usual tricks on me or passed a remark, I used to exclaim,� Hai, Aaj Woh Jinda hote to ye Din Nahi Dekhana padata.� Or sometimes, “Mere do chote chote bachche hai.� One has to be there to watch the reaction of eve teasers. They removed themselves from scene of action as fast as they could without saying anything and without a backward glance.
    5. I haven’t studied in a co-ed school. So in the university I was avoiding boys like plague. This I did for a whole year. Once, my friend was talking to a boy and I just left her standing there and went my way. My God! She was furious with me. She blasted me, “How much pollution is there inside your head? If someone is talking to a member of opposite sex, what do you think about his/her intentions? Can’t you think that as I talk to you, I can do the same with a boy?� I was a reformed person afterwards. I started thinking of boys as breathing and living creatures like me. They too have feelings and they too feel pain and joy and not out to grab any girl they come in contact with.

    Now it’s your turn:

  • Bizarre Dreams

    Thanks a lot, Sudipta, for tagging me. But this tag is a difficult one for me. Normally I don’t dream while sleeping. Maybe I think about the troubled issues so often that there is nothing left in my head when I sleep. But still I have bizarre dreams, that is, whenever I have them.

    1. This one I dreamt recently. I heard that Congress has won the general elections with thumping majority and back to power sans it current allies. This time Soniaji is pleased to appoint a Cow ji as a Prime Minister of India, instead of Man Mohan ji. BJP, Bajrang Dal, Shiv Sena, and RSS are left speechless. They have only one condition, the Cow ji shouldn’t belong to Italy or Columbia. Magazines like Outlook run screaming headlines, “Sonia Ji’s Master stroke paralyzes BJP. Rajdeep Sardesai claims that he has the longest and loudest moo from the Cow ji in an exclusive interview and as usual NDTV refutes that claim subtly and calls an expert panel to measure the moo. At the end of the year, News Channels especially CNN-IBN and NDTV are vying to award the Cow ji as “Person of the yearâ€? award. Discussions are held on various news channels. People are debating the issue of appointing a bovine and not a human being. Congressmen are applauding Soniaji’s decision. Congress Party’s spokesperson’s main argument is that Sonia Ji’s wisdom can’t be questioned. It’s not for ordinary people like me and you to question her decision. BJP is educating the masses that the Cow ji’s maintenance cost would be low. Boarding, lodging and food would cost less and that will save the tax payers’ money. After this point I simply woke up. Someone was calling me at my cell phone. Damn those cell phones.
    2. Another dream I encountered was a pleasant one. I was informed that my maid is not coming for the day. My computer table informed me and offered its services as a maid for a single day. I asked the table to make a cup of tea so that I can decide whether its services can be availed or not. In the next scene my computer table was coming towards me with a cup of tea placed on the mouse pad.
    3. Third dream was quite shocking for me. I saw a purple snake coming towards my sister. All of us were standing there. But unable to move. It took less than a blink of an eye and the task was done efficiently and neatly. I woke up drenched in sweat and shivering and saw her sleeping beside me. I was never so pleased to wake up from sleep in my entire life. I retold that dream to my mother and she stated that something good would happen to her. The very same day postman delivered her result and she topped in her class.

    Rules of the game: the person has to write about 3 of his/her dreams which according to the person are bizarre. And then this tag must be passed onto 5 more people.