I read this news yesterday, Teen “pregnancy pact” shocks Massachusetts city. They said:
“A Massachusetts city is investigating an apparent teenage “pregnancy pact” that has at least 17 high-school girls expecting babies, four times more than last year, including many aged 16 or younger.
A high school health clinic in the city of Gloucester became suspicious after seeing a surge in girls seeking pregnancy tests. Local officials said on Thursday nearly half of those who became pregnant appear to have entered into a pact to have their babies together over the year.
“Some girls seemed more upset when they weren’t pregnant than when they were,” Gloucester High School principal Joseph Sullivan told Time magazine, which broke news of the pact on its Web site.”
Wow! I don’t want to talk about girls (none of them are older than 16!) entering into pregnancy pact and ecstatic. Just thinking of how much parenting these girls received from their own parents? Were these parents following today’s mantra, “Be friends with your children”? Of course it’s so easy to be friends with your children. Drink beer with them. Go to movies. Discuss boys/girls. Give them fancy mobiles, cars and hep attires! But it’s so difficult to set deadlines. Define dos and don’ts. Setting personal examples. It’s so easy to create wanting machines and so difficult to resort to parenting.
Ahh so someone is back! 🙂
Madam, please step beside the newsreel and lets have a few thoughts from your own vineyard!
Children today are exposed to much more than their parents would be aware of. Previously, children for quite some time believed that their parents knew everything. In recent times the ignorance of the parents in latest matters becomes more and more obvious. In such cases children become more open to other influences and suggestions.
Even though parents might do the appropriate stuff, it might not be enough to convince the teenager that their example is the one worth emulating.
Sudipta, I have thrown in my two cents too.!
Paradox, What do you want to say? Even if parents do all the appropriate stuff and it might not be enough? What do you suggest then? And if they know more than their parents then should it be the basis for defiance?
I can’t understand what are you trying to say? Are today’s teenagers simply unmanageable? There is no hope?
Hi Alka… I agree with u to the largest extent. But u know these days peer pressure is so much that sometimes being a good parent is not enough. You need to have good luck too.
Take my daughter for example. There is a 12 year old in our building who has a cell phone and applies make up when she goes out. So my 8 year old wants it too. We are strict and have firmly refused but then she tells me Im a bad mom coz I do not listen to her. Frankly it does not bother me (her telling me this). What bothers me is, what will happen as she grows up and starts getting secretive? How will I b able to penetrate that “I love my friends” circle and influence what she thinks????
Its a tough call for parents..at all costs.
Great to see a post from u though. My love to Vasu.
Ritu, if you can be termed as bad mom, then no mom worth her salt on this whole earth can be termed as a good mom. Actually, be patient. She will ultimately realize what is right and what is wrong. She is too young right now. Parenting becomes very tough if you are residing in a metro. In small towns, kids are still kids. I come from a small town, and there is nothing for the kids except to play and study. No fancy malls, no awe inspiring multiplexes, no “in thing” hangouts. Yes, there is cable TV. But that seems to present a faraway life of some other planets.
You have to keep one step ahead of the kids in terms of awareness.
Paradox what type of awareness? Its a bit confusing to me what you want to say.
Alka,
This is an unique case.A bunch of stupid teenagers wanting to be a JUNO I guess.If you read the entire story, you will find out that they even got together to choose the different fathers.One of those fathers was infact a homeless man! Just a bunch of crazy girls.
This is different from the actual teenage pregnancy problem which goes back to what you are talking about…better parenting.
Would you like to take instructions from someone who after a certain stage does not appear to know about various things? We mock politicians and officials who occupy places of authority but do not know much about the subject. Just because kids are born to parents they assume that position of authority even with uncertain qualifications. Before questioning the kids, it is better that the first question to be posed is how qualified is someone to be a parent.
Sidharth, welcome. How are you? I agree that its an isolated case. I too read some tit bits about fathers, some of them are still in school, studying and this homeless man. In India too, teenage pregnancy problems are on rise. But everything is hushed up here instead of discussing it in open.
Paradox, please bear with me and explain about qualification?
One needs to have some qualifications to be a pilot or a hairdresser. However , one of the most demanding job of parenting does not have any defined requirements. Anyone thinks he or she is doing/will do the job perfectly and the children should listen to this self-appointed authority.
Maybe when human beings evolve further a person would require to be qualified in optimal utilization of biological, psychological and spiritual informationto be allowed to be responsible for another human being.
Paradox, Thanks for being so patient with me. You are saying, “Maybe when human beings evolve further a person would require to be qualified in optimal utilization of biological, psychological and spiritual informationto be allowed to be responsible for another human being.”
You also stated earlier, “Even though parents might do the appropriate stuff, it might not be enough to convince the teenager that their example is the one worth emulating.”
Aren’t you contradicting yourself? Or am I getting something wrong?
One is the past, the other is the future. ‘Appropriate’ today is as defined by the society, not as per the real need/requirement. Children are still honest enough to realize that their need is something else and not what is being dished out to them.
Paradox. what do you mean by appropriate then? What should be appropriate according to you? What is the real need? I am very curious to know.
I guess the ‘need’ is to keep children in touch with their core or help them find their ‘core’, their real desire. We impose ourselves on them and move them away from their core. They are helpless but can sense that what is being given is not what they want. This results in outbursts and reactionary disobedience.
To make it short, either we develop the eyes to recognize the diamond in the stone or take the help of someone who can do it.
Paradox that is the essence of parenting. But what took you so long to express it?
What took you so long to realize that this was what I had been saying? :o)
Paradox, I am a dumb bimbo. That’d why I took such a long time.
The parents ought to set an example to the kids. If the father is always lying to his client and wanting the child to be honest to him (or) the mother spends a fortune on beauty accessories but expects her daughter to be disciplined doesnt work.
What bothers me is that the parents attitude that they have lived or have been made to live in dark ages by their parents and thats why they ought to give all kind of comforts (read luxury) to their kids. The core value of discipline doesnt matter to parents or kids, sometimes and this leads to all kinds of excesses in extreme cases.
Only if we believe in values, our kids will. Kids cannot show the kind of maturity or understanding we see in young adults. They ought to be guided, monitored and nurtured in the right direction – whether they like it or not. They will be greatful for this, later. When they become parents.
Destination Infinity.
What the article doesnt mention is that incest is so rampant here..At least 50% of teen pregnancies can be attributed to pa,bro or uncle…Just reading about this shit makes the blood boil…
I think Massachusetts should be a different ball-game. Indians are good in this regard. When in doubt, be conservative. There is no limit to which freedom can be exploited.