I was reading an article in “The Asian Age� . Its OP-ED Page’s headline “It’s official, men don’t like to marry high IQ women� caught my attention. The writer claimed to notice the trend how “powerful men took up with the young women whose job it was to tend to them and care for them in some way: their secretaries, assistants, nannies, caterers, flight attendants, researchers and fact checkers.� …………………..�men think that women with important jobs are more likely to cheat on them�……..The article quoted Dr. Stephanie Brown, the lead author of this study, “The hypothesis is that there are evolutionary pressures on males to take steps to minimize risk of raising off-spring that are not their own.�
The article also throws light on another interesting point, “Men did not show a preference when it comes to one-night stands.�
I know the research is focused on certain points and can’t view many things in wider perspective. Since this new study was conducted by psychology researchers at the University of Michigan, they studied it in the purview of psychology.
I wonder, if this is entirely true? Only the women with important jobs are prone to cheating? What about women, who are housewives and spend a larger part of their time unobserved by anyone? Doesn’t availability of time and boredom lead to extra-marital affairs and cheating?
Anyway, I think this article has ignored a very important aspect. Right from the birth (midwives claim they can foretell the sex of child on the basis of his/her first cry!). The minutes a male child steps into this world, he should be expected to cry louder than females and dull their voices!!
Right from the childhood a boy is expected “ not to cry like a girl�, “not be a sissy�, “be stronger than his sister�, “behave like a man� etc. At a very tender age expectations from parents, friends and society start shooting sky high. They never expect from a girl to look after their parents or to earn for her family or be a pillar of strength for anybody. But a boy can’t escape all this. He is often told to be in control because he has to look after his family. Boys are not even expected to marry a girl who is taller than him! So girl having a higher IQ is definitely out of question for a long term relationship!
I think a boy is conditioned from a very tender age to be better than a girl. This societal pressure plays a very important role when he looks for a long term relationship. He can’t escape from expectations thrust upon him since he arrived in this world. For an affair or one-night stand it alright to have an intelligent girl. But life-long commitment with a higher IQ partner, its another story.
Well Alka. Not sure about the research. But logically, while marrying both the person should about of similar IQ level. In some case, there will be ego hassles…but they would be more happy than those large IQ difference couples.
Hey.. the new look is quite kewl.. n yes, I do feel that guys have a hassle getting hooked up to more intelligent or “smarter” females.. they basically look for coy, “no hassles” wifely beings..
whatever happened to the previous comments? deleted them all?
A short comment – just to say, I like the new look. More later.
Hi Manish,I think these things are quite individualistic. To each his own. But research is to an extent is right.
Twilight Fairy yes, wify material should be like what you have mentioned, at least for most of the Indian males. And I was FORCED to delete previous comment. Its size ( thanks to spam) was about 36 MB. It could not be transferred.
SV, I can’t take the credit for the new look. 🙂
Yes, research does make sense, but what you said is more true. The boys are conditioned. A generation back it was not a problem for the guy. Now it will be because the girl knows it and she won’t take domination hands down. Hope that none of them over do it, ie the domination.
don’t know much :)) but if I could grow up and marry I wouldn’t mind and intelligent girl but I wouldn’t like er to teach me things all the time :))
xtra marital affairs, If anything distracts anyone of the couple too much then there is the tendency for it. But from where i come it is the norm :))
hey. the blog looks nice. and wot u’ve sed is i guess more or less true. neways…blog updated. feel free to check it out.
New look is so soothing!
Hey, Dont read Asian Age- insider info is: it is just a joke of a newspaper. And btw they did not take me into the survey..results were sure to be different….
But I have anyway problem with the definition of the word intelligent !!
Hi Alka,
your name is really cute as the names of all Indians are :))
Searching in google for men’s behaviour trends gave this interesting link. This might support your blog more :))
http://www.family.org/married/comm/a0019605.cfm
the main points said are
* Point 1: Guys Are Primarily Task and Goal Oriented
* Point 2: Guys Are Competitive
* Point 3: Guys Need to Be Needed
* Point 4: Guys Are Cave Dwellers When Problems Strike
* Point 5: Guys Fear Losing Control
* Point 6: Guys Fear Being Thought Inadequate
* Point 7: Guys Fear Being Hypocrites
* Point 8: Guys Dread Midlife
* Final Point: Appreciate Your Man
love
Hi Alka, new layout looks nice and ur site is up too. you r right about houswives too……..it’s like evrybody say Ash is most beautiful woman in the world but they don’t mention she is beautiful out of some bunch of media woman or known faces to media…..there r more talented or beautiful people out here in this world but not known to media…..do media know us 😉
Hi,Alka..nice,cheerful new look..and,the same gusto as always in your post.I thoroughly agree with your annoyance at societal pressures on males to be a cut above females at all times, right from birth..I do believe I’ve heard the one about the male baby being told to bawl so loud that the females voices are drowned out…as for males not looking for high IQ women for fear that they might cheat on the ‘poor male’, I tend to believe that it might be the other way round.The male is too afraid that the gal might be smart enough to see through him if he cheats,and not accept any sob-story reasons…..isn’t that more likely a case?
Why doesen’t anybody say who has the highest I.Q?
Where are women in Science discovery,Math, Computers? When they catch a Hacker it’s never a girl!!!
nice template as everybody has said.
I am pondering on gartars views.
Well, a caught hacker is never a female perhaps, cos female hackers are too intelligent and never caught:-)
Whatever gartar concludes, I am glad I am a female.
There are somethings conditioned by upbringing as you quoted. like boys don’t sry.
As for choice of IQ levels, it depends on person to person. Everybody like to have a caring heart, the IQs might just be co-incidence.
There are guys who like independent and intelligent girls too. I see so many people getting married 🙂
oops! meant to be ” boys don’t cry”
Hi Just wanted to let u know, I have moved or created a new blog……
I come from a society where we place women on a higher pedastal than maybe other societies.. But then like you said its a research report done on sample which might not have been the perfect representation of the world.. And with girls topping all my classes right from engg to pg, i have stopped thinking that I would be marrying a lesser IQ women.. But then Men will always remain Men..IQ or Not .. 🙂
vist my blog
Alka:Came to you through Manish’s blog. You have a nice blog really.
What do we think when women don’t like to marry low IQ men ? What research is being done in this regard , any Idea ?
Researches are just pattrens, they need not be true always !!. But its true if someone comes too personal to someone to check ( and hurt ) their feelings and beliefs. Its natural that someone looks (acts) intelligent when others seems dumb !!.
I guess its all a matter of conditioning as you said. I would not even blame the guys who believe they should marry somebody with a relatively lesser IQ (how they can find that out is questionable though). Some of them really dont know better and do not know the joys of living with somebody intelligent. I, for one, think that I cannot survive with anybody less intelligent than me. And like everybody else I place the bar very high. One can go on to talk about issues of insecurity and all the other things in the context of an Indian society
not posted anything till now!
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naturally a boy has been made fighter
nature has given him the toughness and strength as well as agressive attitude
pressure from society has its roots in pressure from nature
it boils down all to hormones which gives him muscular power as well as agression
but girls r given opposite traits by nature
bcoz she is the MOTHER
she has to be soft, tender, caring and sensitive so as to be able to brougth up the child well
and dont take western researches on these topics seriously
they lack basics of life
increase ur frequency of posts if u read this
i came to blog world for such posts
tell me links to such posts by others
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Namaste Alka
Well I guess, you might be right but also try and understand that it is in the GENES, since the early ages how could you expect men to change even after the CAVE dwelling days :)) [guys I’m all for the brother hood if you can read through lines] NAROVA KUNJARWA is wat lord Krishna has taught us 😉
U may not ever hear from me, I don’t blog, I slog my work makes me, How I wish I had heeded my frnds and not quit job to get on my own..
Jai Hind
Who says? I am ready..are you?
I’m not posting my real name but someone might recognize me by my writing style. I dunno. It’s both a huge world and a tiny world. The internet does that to it. But anyways I disagree with this whole notion that men only like lower IQ, because I actually prefer the women I go out with to have a higher IQ than me. My IQ at 161 makes this a tall order, but I’m now going out with a girl who has an IQ of 189, and I’m glad that it’s this way (although the higher IQ is really a preference, not a requirement, it’s just a positive attribute I love in women). And yes, I’m long-term with this lovely lady. Now what is it about the idea of dating a woman with a higher IQ than mine that turns me on? Well for one thing they talk so beautifully. She always talks so classy and sophisticated so naturally and I love that. To whoever said higher IQ = domination, not so! Many high IQ people are actually easiest to dominate. And she is very indescicive and extremely subservient/submissive by nature and overly kind and exceedingly polite, but I love her for that, and I’m not going to take advantage of that and be a bully. I’ll love her for who she is always and always. It’s not only the beauty of their speech that makes me prefer higher IQ women, it’s also how they’re always fun to talk to and play video games with and so on. Dunno if this is the norm or an exception but my girlfriend is very feminine and takes great pride in her femininity, as an example, she always wears a dress and has long hair. But she isn’t exactly an “oh I broke a nail” type at all either, she isn’t afraid of hard work, which she shares in common with me, us being two rare high IQ people who aren’t afraid of physical work, infact I myself love doing physical labor type work. But yes, think about myself as an example of a man who thinks having a girlfriend with a higher IQ is the greatest thing ever. Plus our kids will be little Einsteins. 🙂 But that’s not really what I’m looking at her, just that I love her for her and everything about her. But yeah, other than my preference for a higher IQ than myself in a woman and her loving my preference (which she told me I’m the first to ever have that prefrence she’s encoutnered in her life), and the fact that she’s 5 years older than me, we’re staunch traditionalists believe it or not.
I don’t know. I usually like a girl that can dominate ME. has an iq of 170 and has a nice body. So I guess my strain will be the smartest in a couple generations.
you know…the girl is the smarter one…let the man have the perks…but in the end she controls me…I love her, what can I say.