Say,”I Do” the Mittal Way

Written by

I have read this article in “The Pioneer” months ago. It states,

“Did you know that at least four to five weddings in Delhi equal the scale of the Chatwal and Mittal wedding every season? Just because their money is fatter than their name doesn’t mean that the big fat Indian wedding is not becoming chic, luxuriant and most importantly, high net worth. So what if you cannot get a Versailles, you can get married in a flotilla of Venetian gondolas, book an island and if your commitment is worth the wait, then even a space on galactic flights. Foreign brands, emeralds and rubies, theme weddings, exotic locations, multi-cuisine dinners, celebrity guests and star performances no longer make news. Not when a farmer is giving up his horse to pick up his bride in a helicopter. What does make news is whether the entire bouquet has had a designer upgrade. Even if the bride has pancaked her face with the latest of Chanel, is wearing the limited edition Jimmy Choos or the Calvin Klein bra, a wedding is nothing if each item of her trousseau isn’t a roll out edition of the latest from the fashion houses in Paris and Milan. And her gifts for the entire khandaan don’t empty out London’s Bond Street. Anyway what’s a wedding if you aren’t serving fresh fruits from Turkey’s Unifrutti and a playback video of the entire proceedings on a 50-inch Bang and Olufsen? And if you can trot out a firang wedding planner as your calling card, it will be more than the cherry icing on the cake. ”

Fine. I keep hearing about these weddings. But someone please write about what happens after. Do such weddings help in bonding better between newly weds? Having theme weddings promote stronger and long lasting ties between husband and wife? If parents hire foreign wedding planner will it promote more love between the marrying couples? Can anyone shed some light on these insignificant facts?

Comments

12 responses to “Say,”I Do” the Mittal Way”

1/15/2008

prancer

Hahaha…I rather not comment on this…varna meri-hone-wali bura maan jayegi…vaise bhi she thinks I am old-fashioned…hahaha…but I eagerly awaiting comments from someone else… 🙂
1/15/2008

prancer

correction : “but I am eagerly” or ” but I eagerly await” in place of “but I eagerly”
1/17/2008

Tanmoy

On you last paragraph – does anyone care Alka, what happens to such people and their wedding? These people love to flaunt wealth and being treated as mere entertainers glossing the tabloids. The person who is reading about their wedding, waits to read about their divorce next – that is their actual status.

Absolutely grand but of no apparent value!
1/18/2008

Hari

Hi Alka,
Back after a long time and started posting again.

Great post. But a small correction. The term “Lasting ties”, “better bonding” and “True Love” between the couples is no longer a fact but only a Hypothetical scenario with all these big fat weddings. Gone are the days when these terms had a meaning in life.
1/20/2008

Suvro Chatterjee

Dear Alka,
Tanmoy told me about your blog, and my first visit has not belied my expectations. If you visit my blog, you will be happy to find that we seem to be very like-minded on this issue (I am referring especially to one particular post of mine, where I have uploaded G. K. Chesterton’s wonderfully scathing essay, ‘The Worship of the Wealthy’). While I hold the silly and wasteful extravaganzas of the super-rich in as much contempt as you do, permit me to add a few things:

1) In India, when times were good, the rich have always flaunted their wealth like that, with the tacit approval if not open admiration of the aamjanta (think of literary descriptions of Gupta era flamboyance, and historical records of Mughal opulence and luxury in their heyday, and the lifestyles of the British ‘laat sahibs’.

2) Condemnation of such pomp and waste has always gone side by side too – think of the rise of Jainism and Buddhism, or what the medieval bhakti saints preached. So our very rich tradition offers us clear choices: condemning the costly follies of the rich may put us in a small minority, but it definitely does not make us weird or wrong. But I believe that people like us should network strongly to make a difference.

3) Why don’t you explain that your anger is not just a visceral reaction, not just a matter of personal taste but a matter deserving great social concern: the rich pollute the environment, both natural and social, too much, for instance…

4) You might also add that they deserve pity. All this desperation to show off stems from a very deep-rooted pyschological malaise: the fact that too many ‘poor little rich kids’ (and their parents) find life desperately boring, and have no genuine engagement with it, so they drug and drown themselves in mindless squandering. They will never be able to understand how poor scientists, artists and social workers often seem to be much happier than they are!

5) The most pitiable people are those who slaver over the follies of the rich, and the hacks who have to make a living by filling up tabloid pages with such stuff. Can you imagine how bad some of them feel?

Do visit my blog sometime. I shall be glad to have your comments. I don’t find too many sane, intelligent, informed people of good taste on the Net.
1/21/2008

Shini

Having been the center of attention(a.k.a the bride!) in such a glamorous wedding, quite recently, I can tell you from my experiences, that all this is pretty much a very “glam-sham” affair! All the glitteratti and overspending, is often quoted to be required just because the boy is the only one the parents have and his marriage also happens, once in a lifetime,hopefully(!)

And let me tell you Alka, it isnt just the wealthy in this country who want do carry out such a nerve-wracking and costly affair, it is a custom in the North Indian region, where it has sadly, become a matter of false pride and showing off, than anything else. To tell you the real truth, during the celebration, no one cares about what the bride or bridegroom feel about the entire thing!
1/22/2008

shy

hilarious-ly written! Its pathetic & crass isnt it? think of how many villages could have been fed on this day with this kind of money…
1/22/2008

Paradox

To each his/her own. It cant be implied that people who have simpler weddings have stronger ties.

After all the noise, I guess it will be the richness of the silence that shall matter.
1/27/2008

Alka

PrancerYour would be? So you are getting married. Congrats! You might have seen other comments too. So what do you think?

Tanmoy, I wish I could write like you. Thanks for commenting.

Hari, Good that you are posting again. I have read some of your latests posts. As usual very thought provoking and sometimes I want to copy paste them here. Keep writing.

Suvro, I am honoured that you have visited my blog and cared to comment. I read your blog whenever I find time. Even I revise some posts. But couldn’t muster enough courage to comment. In facts your suggestions have enriched my post.
1/27/2008

Alka

Shini, Thank you very much for visiting my blog. Why have you not written anything on your blog. I would love to read your posts.

Shy, thank you for stopping by. And it seems we Indians have stopped thinking in these terms like “a village can be fed.” This seems so old fashioned.

Paradox, I agree. To each his own. If one don’t have social consciousness or community feeling or feelings for one’s own spouse on the very special day and wants to turn it into a NAUTANKI, really to each his own. We Indians have actually become quite selective when it comes to liberalism. When it suits us, we say “to each his own” when we know how the first world countries citizens do community service and run soup kitchens, we seem to busy for these things. And simple wedding at least shows one thing: the bride and groom are mature people and respect each other not to turn it into a tamasha.Two good ingredients to start a marriage.
2/2/2008

jeevan

I don’t understand why everyone sound so negative about spending by the affluent ones. I believe apart from the negative ones their are positive aspects also. The other way of looking at this is, the money will help other businesses to do well (Particularly the ones related to wedding). Obviously people will be benefited. Do you want the rich, to resent that they are so affluent to offer for all these extravagance? Can we attribute this thinking of ‘spending is bad’ to the Indian upbringing (which emphasizes more on saving)?

The last one. ‘Extravagant’ is a relative term. What is normal for you may be extravagant for a poor man. So are you ready to give up what you consider a ‘normal marriage’ and get wed in a very simple way (say without relatives, in a temple or just a registered marriage?)
2/3/2008

Alka

Jeevan If we try to see the positive aspects that it helps other business do well then I think general elections should be held every year in India, it will help so many businesses and generate employment. And I have never said anywhere that I resent rich. In fact these weddings helps no one except few who are already well off. Just ask the father of the bride that will he deposit the same amount of money in his daughter’s bank account instead of spending it in her wedding which she can use later using her own discretion? As far as I am concerned I had really given up “normal marriage” and got married in a simple dull boring way much to the annoyance of others. What mattered to me was the man beside me and my few dear ones who really cared about me. REST CAN GO TO HELL!