Author: Alka

Theirs
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Australia, “FORMER tennis star Nicole Bradtke embodied Melbourne’s Olympic spirit yesterday by watching the Athens torch relay only hours after giving birth………………. Only 18 hours after her second child, Jensen arrived, Nicole left hospital to cheer on her basketballer husband as he carried the torch.”

USA has released its list of torch runners.
I kept searching for the likes of Madonnas, Sharone Stones, Spears in this list but they are conspicuous by their absence. Cruise, Stallone are invited to carry flame but they are not the frontrunners.

China
The youngest torch-bearers
Fourteen-year-old Ye Lu and He Zhouling are the youngest torch-holders this time in Beijing. One of the two girls, Ye Lu, is not only a junior correspondent with Chinese Teenagers News, but also an activist in Beijing’s bidding for hosting the 2008 Olympic Games and environment protection. He Zhouling is a student from a school under the Project Hope program in a mountainous area in Guizhou Province. She, too, was lucky enough as she fulfilled her Olympic dream by leaving her hometown and coming to Beijing for the first time. She has become a heroine-like figure, a glory to her fellow-townspersons.
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OURS

I remember one budding athlete saying, “When we go for 3-4 times road running, bench-press, complete stair running, squat innumerable times, only then we are able to reduce our timings by a tenth of a second. It takes at least one month.” This was the statement of a state level athlete, not of some-one who was a placeholder in National Games.
I thought OUR LIST would include P.T. Usha, Shiny Abharam, Ashwani Nachappa, Marvin Fernandis, Mohammad Shaid, Ashok Kumar, Wilson Cherian, Zeeshan Ali, Prakash Padukone, Geet Sethi, Subhash Agrawal………………

Who were OUR frontrunners? That I will discuss later. I remember one more incident.

I was watching a friendly football match between film stars and cricketers. This game demands some stamina, after all you have to do sprinting many times in a decent sized field. Here, there was no such camera and make-up to conceal your eye bags and dark circles. They might bash-up goons in one shot, which merely takes few minutes to complete, then they cool off their heels in the AC vans till the next shot is ready. The blessing of booze and cigarettes will be sort of different from other blessings. The steroid pumped muscles might be pleasing visuals for starry eyed dumbos and dudes, but in a football field they won’t carry you far.
So, OUR frontrunners were……

The very people, who in the above mentioned friendly football match with cricketers, came out of the field, huffing and puffing, carrying 45 years old lungs in 25 years young body! Our Honorable Sports Minister and President of the Olympic Association are probably ignorant of this fact, called hard work, that even a state level athlete puts into. Or rather they are ashamed of the performance of the hard-working athletes, who inspite of their rotten system, dared to pick-up sports as a career and above all performed and done something for India.

What was our role in all this? We engaged in tussle with security, broken barricades, climbed up the tree to have a glimpse of Ash Rai, Rani, and Bipasa Basu!

We, the people of this generation, really become so dimwitted, that unless and until, things are presented in visuals, rather pleasing visuals, we refuse to rise to occasion? Do everything for us, should be tightly sewn, attractively packaged, applied with strokes of gloss and glitz, only then we sit up and take notice?

• You can’t laugh to your heart’s content.
• You can’t be a disturbing element as often as possible.
• You can’t say, I love you often.
• You can’t shout back.
• You realize the power your little tongue holds.
• It’s so difficult to convey what you want to do next day. Because
you don’t know how to convey “next day” from your hand or eyes
or using your whole body.
• If you pick-up the phone, how furiously you nod at the receiving
end, your effort is down the drain. Stupid instrument!
• You have to LISTEN TO ALL, whatever your Mom is saying, without
interrupting her!
• You are being showered with array of suggestions. You just nod
pathetically.
• You can watch others enjoying piping hot Idli Sambar. All you can
do is swallow your own lump, that too, painfully!
• It’s a small word “tonsillitis”, but its all pervasive. You suffer from
fever, body-ache, headache and running nose. You just want to
curl-up and die. But your near and dear ones don’t let you do that.
It’s the only time they can prove, you are not a mysterious, ET
from some other planet and how well they understand you, inside
out! Your illusion of being a Bermuda Triangle is shattered forever.
• you develop a brand new sign language for a few exclusive people.
• You can’t blog and respond to the comments posted on your own
blog.

For how long shrewdness and manipulative-ness will prevail? It is pervasive. But will it triumph ultimately? I often wonder, is this world belongs to selfish, scheming and “Me first” people?

I was watching about Confucius’ life on History channel. He died as a disillusioned man. He sensed that nobody would listen to his uttering. Like a mirage, he kept on searching for a ruler, who could have understood his principles and acted upon it. He wanted to bury China’s anarchy, darkness and violence. He met one governor, from his own hometown, who listened to him. Both of them worked together and produced some fine results. But ultimately that ruler succumbed to the charm of three most beautiful, calculative and manipulative women of his province. These women were sent by his rivals.

Right proportion of nose, lips, eyes and cheeks or exact portion of flesh at right places or both? THAT IS ALL IT TAKES TO BRING DOWN ANY MIGHTY RULER, SCHOLAR, PAINTER OR FORMIDABLE GENERAL. Alas! This same phenomenon SEEMED true everywhere. Confucius all the wisdom, knowledge and vision could not fight with the charm of three beautiful and promiscuous women! Are these pessimists and conservatives always succeed? He had to leave his province. He wondered for 13 years in search of a ruler who could have at least same foresight that he possessed or willing to implement his ideas. He was not as fortunate as Chanakya. He could not find a Chandragupta Maurya throughout his whole life. Rulers of China chose to live comfortably instead of rising to occasion.

No one was willing to give him a chance. A break, that’s all he was asking for. Never got this wish fulfilled in his entire life. He confined himself to learning and teaching, thinking his disciples will keep his ideas alive. Even there he was a loser. He lost his most beloved and promising student to the cruel claws of death. This made him weep like a hysterical child. He said “Even God has turned against me.” He lost all hope and found solace in the lap of Mother Nature. The very solace of nature, he used to ridicule in his youth. Was he really defeated by reactionary forces? The same demons who travelled to England, to file petition in favor of custom of Sati, opposing Raja Ram Mohan Roy? Raja Ram Mohan Roy had William Bentick. (Thankfully neither Ram Mohan Roy, nor William Bentick had to fight an election. Otherwise they might not have offended popular sentiments of public.) But Confucius never met his William Bentick!

This is grave injustice. How could had he not foreseen his teachings propagated by World’s renowned Universities. He has become an institution in himself in modern world. When I watched the whole episode, I wish fervently, if once, just once, he could visit this earth NOW. He would know that no one remember those three vicious, calculative, manipulative rulers and women. His philosophy is being propagated, not in China but in the whole world; by progressive governments, by many institutions, by evolving organizations, by common people and by sensible individuals. But he was far ahead of his time. And we keep a bowl full of poison ready for such people, be it Meera or Socrates or worse a slow poison for Confucius.
But on hindsight, I think by following Confucius we are not honoring, discovering and recognizing him, but ourselves. He does not have to trouble his holy spirit to see us, the mere followers. May his soul rest in peace. Amen!

This request is from the all the HOMELESS flora and fauna of the notified area of the Panchmarhi forest.
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I can’t speak. I can’t file petitions. I can’t lead protest marches. I can’t argue my case, brilliantly, in front of a Supreme Court Judge. I can not go to prison for a day. I can’t play with words and win prestigious awards.

I am a small rather a very small tree of the notified area of the Panchmarhi forest. Our habitats were snatched away, and sources of food were destroyed. Earlier, we lived in peace following religiously the law of Jungle. No one can escape this law in our area. One wrong step here or there and you are finished. This law of Jungle was broken by at least one world known “environmentalist”. BUT I was ecstatic when I read this.
Bungalow blow to Arundhati – Allotment on notified forest land cancelled in Panchmarhi.

But she did not appear before “another” court and argue this case brilliantly. AGAIN I read in a newspaper
“Neither Arundhati nor her husband — contacted at their Delhi residence — were available for comment.”

This great “environmentalist”, crusader of the tribal and downtrodden, great advocate of the peace, snatched away the legacy of non-vocal species of animals and plants.

Finally I read this – Sydney Peace Prize for Arundhati Roy!

When the emotions run high, truce is so fragile and pains are so intense, you must possess no heart at all to jeopardize the whole thing, however diminutive that progress might be.

What does External Affairs Minister, Mr. Natwar Singh exactly want to achieve by issuing provocative statements that India will pursue talks with Pakistan on the basis of the Simla Agreement. Was Bajpayee Government not following the spirit of Simla Agreement? Had they admitted anywhere that they would tolerate third party intervention in Kashmir (backbone of Simla Agreement)?

Had Congressmen not done enough prostrating before Soniaji when the whole nation was witnessing the drama live? Did Mr. Natwar Singh not know that India had/s given enough respect and power to Nehru Gandhi Family and now the least the Congressmen can do is not to make the foreign policy of India the hostage of Nehruvian era. Nobody can turn the clock back. Is this simple fact not obvious to Mr. Minister? Need his every act demonstrates his loyalty to Nehru Gandhi family?

We have got the reply from Pakistan President General Pervez Musharraf. He said that “if the minister in his references meant that we will go by the Simla Agreement, then I don’t agree with him,” Mr Singh again reiterated that India will pursue talks with Pakistan on the basis of the Simla Agreement. At least we should grant quality of consistency to Mr. Singh.

The euphoria evident in Pakistan till recently about the peace initiative does not mean anything to our minister. Whatever miniscule progress is made between the two nations can be thrown away by such repeated irresponsible statements. When care had been taken to coach Indian Cricket Team by diplomats about what they could say publicly, so that ongoing peace process must not be endangered. All this prompted Vice Caption Rahul Dravid to say “We are not diplomats, we are players.” The minister can not let go of the temptation to lay bare his loyalty to Soniaji. I think the real political players are in action now.

India is already divided on so many lines; caste, creed, religion. The British did it. Now our own rulers are doing it. Laloo’s face flushes with pride whenever he discusses “MY (Muslims & Yadavs) Equation”. Why should we lag behind? We, the generation X, keep on inventing new means to divide it further. We create new yardsticks, day in and day out. Some decide whether you are human and not some insect, on the basis of eating joints, some on the basis of how you speak English, whether your accent is closer to Americans or not. For some your status is elevated instantly if you can use spoon and fork deftly. For some you are near to God if you are acquainted with and use all the “in things.” It is EXPECTED from literates that they will reduce the regional, religion, lingual, ethnical and others gaps. But what is happening is something else.

One of my cousins was narrating an office incident (he and his friend were working in Motorola at that time). In his office people pestered a fellow so much about his accent that he started stammering. I forgot to mention his friend was from Laloo’s state and is a professional from one of the world’s premier institutes. But all this don’t matter. How he speaks takes precedence over everything.

I remember one more incident. It involved my sister. She was in New Delhi’s United Nations office for an interview. There she met a famous writer’s cousin. He conversed with her for about 45 minutes but could not make out from her accent to which place she belonged to.
Suddenly he exclaimed, “ I detect traces of —— accent. You belong to —-place.”

My sister replied, “Yes.”

Then came the preaching part, “See you must pay attention to your accent. Otherwise people will detect your place of origin.”

Ah! If only he knew the character of my city and its people! Throwing every caution to wind, whether she will get THAT UNITED NATIONS prestigious project, my sister countered,

“I don’t want to hide to which place I belong to. And why should I bother cultivating another accent?”

Mr. ….. was speechless for few seconds, stared at her unblinkingly and admitted,
“I too carried an accent, with lots of practice I improved.”

My sister did not answer, “I have more important work to do in life”.

We thought they would never take her in that project. But they DID.

• He claims to be a cool dude. Nobody has heard him shouting till date. Without much effort you break his lifelong record in five minutes.

• Throwing his entire macho image to wind, he sobs in your lap like a baby.

• You had a talk with your male friend last night on the cell and forgot everything. He raises up the rudiments of conversation unexpectedly the next day.

• You just got up to answer the doorbell. He reminds you that your shorts are too short. It no longer is a WOW!

• You are about to tip over something. He anticipates it before you. (Read – never takes his eyes off you).

• You are sleeping peacefully, snuggled closely to your little nephew. He hugs you from the vacant side.

• You are sulking in a corner, watching him surfing the cyber world, with no obvious plan for the Valentine’s Day. On due day, flowers and gifts arrive at your doorstep, complete with the name of the website and the city, lurking in some other corner of this earth.

• He is about to retire to bed. You remind him of his ex-girlfriend. Within few minutes, you hear the “sweet and gentle” sound of his snoring.

• When he is lost and down and out . You don’t know what the right thing to say or do is. You just mumble something incoherent and it makes complete sense to him. He starts feeling sunny and bright again.

I am flying high;
The clouds,
Hanging over my roof,
Entice me to a dance.
The summer breeze,
Caresses me to insanity.
The brilliance of sun,
Invites me to compete with its magnitude.
The moon offers,
Tranquility to my turbulent soul.
The grand banyan tree,
Seems impartial in donating shelter.

I have broken my wings;
The clouds,
Hanging over my roof
Make me burst into tears.
The summer breeze,
Takes undue liberties with my body.
The brilliance of sun
Mocks at my labor.
The moon,
Wallows in self pity, faking glow in barrowed light.
The grand banyan tree,
stands helpless.
It HAS to offer shelter to passerby.

I am flying high,
I see warmth and affection in my sister’s eye.
I have broken my wings,
I see the same eyes staring back at me!

Music floating in the air,
Whispering voices
enveloping me,
Fizz of dainty wine,
Playing on my tongue,
Transporting me
to a different planet,
Not at the happening restaurant
Of town.
They promised a slice of heaven
And kept it too!

At peace with the world and myself
laughing vivaciously,
I came out.
The gateman sprang to action
Saluting us promptly.

But why this salute?
Done nothing
except, having fun
Money can offer.

Searching for answers,
I remembered
those weighty sentences,
ALL of us being greatest creation
Of nature.
Why does one equal
bow to another equal?
Why this abject gesture
of one creation
to another creation of the same God?
Why? Why? Why?
I asked aloud.

Stupid!
Spirit always cloud your faculties,
He was saluting to
The Distant future,
Sparing his progenies
from saluting my progenies.

I am reading a post, which inspired me to do a bit of my own research! And this fact dawned upon me that my fellow blogger was right all after all.

BJP and their allies are really cicadas. I will reveal their gameplan since independence. IT ALL HAPPENED IN LAST SIX YEARS. DON’T ASK HOW!

1. They agreed for partition of India. Every leader of Congress was ready to die and was opposing partition. But Bajpayee, Advani and Sangh Parivaar arm twisted Nehru and Gandhiji to concede.

2. Jawaharlal was dead against going to UN for Kashmir issue. Then Home Minister Sardar Patel said “Jawahr pachtayega”. But Advani, Bajpayee and Sangh Parivaar were so powerful. They again arm twisted poor Jawahar Lal to go to UN. See they are still sitting on both sides of LOC.

3. Jeep Ghotala involving Krishnana Menon ( he was again a victim of BJP’s conspiracy). Due to BJP, Gotalas are not recent phenomenon in Indian politics.

4.Mahalanobis model had given us giant public sectors who worked as Safed Haathi, apane hi weight nahi otha sake. This model was suggested by probably Uma Bharti to Nehru.

5. The mother of all coups. It was a conspiracy hatched by Arun Jetaly, Jai Prakash Narayan ( Laloo was mere a gullible bachcha, he could not understand the manipulation of Jai Prakash Narayan then). Advani, Bajpayee somehow convinced Indiraji ( A supporter of the world largest democratic party Indian national Congress said “Indira is India, and India is Indira”)for EMERGENCY. Poor cute doll. Again she fell prey to BJP’s heavyweights.

5. In the meanwhile Sangh Parivaar again convinced vulnerable Indiraji to depend on Saint Bhinderavalle. Due to wrong policies of BJP, the nation witnessed terrorism in Punjab, but poor Indiraji had to pay for it with her life.

6. Assam and rise of AGP, demand for Bodoland, Oh! I forgot there was a Subash Ghesing too from Darjeeling and Naga insurgency, all this happened due to the wrong policies of BJP and their leaders.

7. Novel idea of sending IPKF (Bush Jr. was not there to be rescued by Indian soldiers) to Sri Lanka. Later on CBI revealed that BJP had again misled Rajeev ji. Our soldiers had to make an … exit from that country. Goodwill was a casualty due to wrong policies of BJP. And Rajeevji had paid for the misdeeds of BJP.

8. Kashmir!! BJP was messing there since tribal attack in 1947! Misleading Nehruji all the time.

9. But they were always unable to misled Congress into a communal riots. First communal riots happened during PV N Rao’s Primeministership. BJP tied his hands to stop demolition of Babri Musjid. Earlier BJP coaxed Rajeevji to open the lock of Ram Temple and conduct a Bhoomi Poojan. Later on they hijacked the issue from Rajeevji. One has to learn back stabbing from BJP.

10. What happened in 1998? This time Bajpayeeji made an offer to Congress, —you were welcome to topple a Prime Minister by one vote casted by a Chief Minister ( someone called Gomango, he made last minute entry, just to caste his vote) and you will have Dilli. THEY DID IT. But again these Mulayams, Laloos, Left, Right, Middle? What happened? Oh! The almighty BJP again misled them. THEY TOPPLED THE GOVERNMENT BY ONE VOTE, BUT COULD NOT FORM A SINGLE GOVERNEMT. And Madam Soniaji decalred in the press conference, “WE have 273 and many more are coming” But President DOUBTED HER CREDENTIALS! HE ASKED FOR A LIST AND SIGNATURE OF ALL THE MPs! The sheer audicity of the President of India! Again BJP, tore the list, snatching it from Soniaji’s hand!

I am feeling inspired and highly optimistic. Our ancestors tried us to teach “Vasudhaiva Kutumbakam” (This whole earth is your family.). The Congress Party being the oldest one definitely took our ancestor’s preaching seriously and converted it into concrete reality. Hats off to them.

Now I have placed very high hopes in our NRI Indians and those who are high fliers. Please acquire a wife from any country except India. Then come to India, do something to get people’s attention (if nothing else then at least leak CAT, CBSE examination papers) and fight election. This will ensure a Lok Sabha seat in Delhi.

Slowly but surely push your spouses into politics too. Teach them some tricks about Saree, Pallu, Bindi, pooja threads, Karava Chauth….It will ensure their claim to Indian nationality. Let them not surrender their home countries citizenship or passport (whatever the Indian Technicalities and bureaucracy and above all our constitution permits.) You might need it in your hour of reckoning. Remember Peruvians voted a Japanese national as their President. After 10 long years he started feeling nostalgic and returned to his dear homeland Japan and faxed his resignation from the beloved home country.

Indians living abroad, you are in a better position to execute the dream of our ancestors. Give our country a true global face. We have started getting leaders from other countries.I think with globalization, our parliament will be flooded with Columbians, Mexicans, Honoluluians, why forget Pakistanis and Chinese Nationalities. Our communist Bhais will support them as long as they are secular in their views. Our constitution framers have already left so many lacunae. So you have the full backing of the county’s highest source of power, the book called Constitution too. Congress will guard those lacunae with utmost zeal. And you will find enough intellectuals in print and broadcast media backing you. Ladies and Gentlemen, pay heed to the nation’s call. I hope many of you are already feeling charged up!

Imran to take custody of his ‘love child’
I was reading this news and absorbing the shock. He, till 1997, never acknowledged her as a daughter. But it is his personal matter.

I am thinking about other implications of these relations. It seems the norm that people keep on getting into and out of relationships. Fair enough. But why are they so stupid to bring a child into this world, if they don’t have any plan to stick together and just be busy with other things? A child has the right to get love of both the parents. The child has not filed an application to the parents to give him/her birth. But these stupidiest lot, in the heat of things, tend to forget that another life can get involved and the echo of this act can have a very far reaching effect on the child and others lives.

Why Boris Beckers, Marlyn Brandos, Ravi Shankers of this world are obsessed with spreading their seeds in different continents, but when the responsibility part appears, they turn tail and vanish??? They have sowed the seed, responsibility is over! What about the child?

Psychologists often says these children are too sensitive towards one of their parents (often with whom they are living), their extra possessiveness of mother or father creates discord in their own personal lives, when they attain maturity. They tend to see one of their parents as a victim or the wronged party. They are often forced to take sides.

Going out in the evening and playing with other kids are “normal” for many children. But not with every child. I remember one particular mother saying on TV, that her son, avoids to go out and play in the evening. He knows her mother would be alone in the house. But he does not admit so, and makes various excuses for not playing! He doesn’t want her mother to sense the real thing.

So by all means, have your fun, f*** and food, but don’t create another life amidst all this!

You must be having a well deserved rest after being out whole day, trekking somewhere in Himalayas. I hope desperately that you can check mails and visit my blog. Today is your birthday and this is the only gift I can offer you right now.

To You

Whenever I touch emotional nadir
You make sure the only option is,
To get up and gather my pieces.

Whenever I am surrounded by
Manipulation, egotism, and game playing maniacs
You make sure, I rise above all of them
And just concentrate on my work.

Whenever I was about to be one
With my own ashes,
You make sure to turn those ashes
Into life giving force.

Whenever I was licking my wound in silence
In an obscure corner, hiding from the world,
Wishing I were never born,
You resurrect my faith in me.

My staunch atheist attitude
Wavers many times,
When I think what have I done to deserve
A sister like you?
Does God really exists somewhere?
Is that why I have a sister
Like you?

Love,
To be given and received freely,
But I find no takers and no giver.

Storm,
Gathering momentum,
Threatening to burst out any instant.

Grief,
Screaming to be assuaged.

Impotent anger,
Devoid of courage.

Complaints,
But no one listens to it.

People,
Afraid of caring and sharing,
Refusing to come out of their closets.

My street fighter’s spirit,
declines to go to sleep.

From SV to us
Thanks to all of your calls and e-mails, the New York State Assembly Bill, A 10188a, which will ban the killing of non-native mammals such as lions, zebras, Corsican rams, and wild boars at Canned Shoots, passed out the Environmental Conservation Committee!!

Now, we need to take the next step of making sure this bill passes out of the Codes Committee.

Therefore, please contact Speaker Sheldon Silver to urge him to use his authority as the leader of the NYS Assembly to urge Assembly member Joseph Lentol to pass “The Canned Shoot Bill” out of his Codes Committee ASAP so it can be voted on by the entire Assembly. (That’s all you have to say!)

Speaker Sheldon Silver: 518 455 3791, Speaker@assembly.state.ny.us

Canned shoots are commercial hunts in which trophy hunters pay large fees to shoot animals in enclosed areas. These animals, who are often “retired” from zoos, circuses, or roadside shows, or may have been bred on the canned hunting facilities, often amble over to lick the hand of the shooter or trot up to the “guide’s” vehicle expecting to be fed as usual.

Animals at canned shoot “preserves” have no chance of escape, and they die in agony because hunters shoot them numerous times in the gut so as to avoid shooting them in the head. Hunters want to keep the “trophy heads” intact for mounting on the wall. This form of hunting is so deplorable that many hunting organizations, whose members adhere to “fair chase” principles, condemn canned shoots.

The current bill, sponsored by Assembly member Scott Stringer, bans the use of non-native big game mammals on all canned shoot facilities regardless of acreage. (Examples of non-native big game mammals are: lions, zebras, Corsican rams, wild boars.)

From time immemorial,
Orbiting this planet earth,
Witnessing lovers
Mooning over me,
Making love,
Manufacturing promises,
Weeping over broken promises,
Resurrecting promises.
Perceiving my
Venerated aura,
Tranquil Radiance,
Warm indifference,
Absolute allure,
As sprinklings of joy in their lives.
I am not in a meditative trance,
My infinite loveliness,
Scaring everyone away.
They love me with aloofness,
Insisting,
I bestow incessant tenderness.
Certainly I am not a saint.
Consequently here I am,
Unseen, unloved, unaccompanied,
Terrifying everyone
With my celestial integrity,
Mysterious divine beauty,
No one matches my paradigm,
So condemned to
Completing my solitary journey
Alone.

I strongly believe that people like our Ex- Election Commissioner, James M Lyngdoh does not possess the right to retire. Today when I heard the news about re-polling in more than 500 booths, (the honour of re-polling of around 400 booths goes to a particular State). India will always need him; even Afghanis want him to conduct free and fair elections in Afghanistan. Can not we file a PIL, where Kiran Bedi, KPS Gill, Ribeiro and various other unsung real heroes should be banned from retiring? They will always be in scarcity in our country for the time being. Politicians don’t deliver, Bureaucrats don’t serve, and academicians don’t teach or research or get published….. We have very few people amongst us who work and after stipulated period of time they retire!
It is so unfair to a commoner, to those who don’t want to beat or bend the system, who want to remain honest, and after doing a days work want some peace and quiet.

But the thing is we don’t want to give up the Messiah mentality. In Gita, it is stated that God himself graces this earth when number of sinners increase. So this “being rescued mentality” has very deep and ancient root in our psyche. We always wait for a Mahatma Gandhi, Baba Amte, Prof Kurien, Vinoba Bhave, Medha Patkar……. We have fallen so low that we are now looking up to Rahul and Priyanka!

When will we come out of that “rescuer” and “being rescued” mentality? When will we start to trust ourselves? Proactive instead of passive? We are not even reactive. Hats off to Americans and Europeans, who take on to the street on smaller issues. Maintaining a hectic schedule and busy life, still they squeeze in some time to participate in demonstrations. At least this makes their political bosses sit up and take notice. We are not even in the reactive league. Is there a way out from our lethargy?

I cannot live a lie. I cannot hide private SMSes, I cannot resist recording telephone conversations, I cannot defy this perennial urge to speak to TV channels (of course for a few millions) or write a book about my private and torrid affairs to rich and famous and powerful.

You know I am not on the brink of starvation; I am comfortably off, having normal relationships and career. Still I yearn for more. If I am not there how the Beckhams, Clintons, Shane Warnes, Kennedys…….will stay in news in their lean seasons? Those stupids! They think if they are presidents, editors, great players, painters, writers or artists they can succumb to my charm, have a good time with me, then discard me very conveniently in the end, keeping their image of family men, doting fathers, caring husbands and RESPONSIBLE professionals intact? Those idiots are puppets in my hands. Just with a play of passion, a good pair of legs or hands or eyes, or …….( fill in the blank yourself) and they come behind me wagging their tails like puppies.

They don’t know that I too possess conscience. I too suffer with bouts of fairness and justice. I too see the faces of the family of these much married men. Their daughters, sons, wives prompt me to acknowledge this fact that I can not go on playing this game forever. Then I decide to act all divine and pristine. I try to cleanse my soul of all the (mis)deeds. A TV camera is the best place to confess (what price that channel is paying is too sacred and divine to reveal to the common public, although those channels never keep the sanctity of their oath and disclose the price my TRUTH carries. They will be answerable to God for that. ).

By this time I have tasted blood. Now I am a bit mature too. I know TV show is over and public memory is too short to remember me. Then how to immortalize my ETERNAL TRUTH? Of course I decide to write a book on the whole episode. The royalty will last not only me but my coming generations too! So I am trying to find a publisher. Do you know anyone? Or are you one?

My death procession was passing through the posh colony I lived. I was suitably decorated according to the latest trends. Ah!!! I liked the scented water in which my body was bathed. I adored the faint perfume of jasmine garlands (the smell takes you to the brink of madness!) surrounding my body. Hummm.. My sons were assembling every deserving thing right for my funeral. I was pleased with the arrangements. They hired a swanky truck to take me to my last journey. Yes, the vehicle was sleek and swanky. It even had an AC installed! Well the procession had finally started. I had a contented smile on my lips.

All the relatives and acquaintances made sure, to attend my final destination. The truck was moving smoothly. The faces surrounding me were somber and solemn, as the occasion demanded. I heard this word,
“Damn! We can not cover that damn distance even in 3 hours. See the crowd, its sheer number and magnitude! Can not beat that. We are struck up!”
From experience I know that road led to cremation ground. Who else had died? I tried to identify my new companion, who decided to leave this world along with me!
My elder son was shouting,
“See, when the traffic would be cleared, and what happened?”
All were waiting for the messenger with a bored air.
“A damn Magsaysay Award Winner cum Social Activist has died!” My nephew replied with flawless ascent.

I remember some dim wited, silly, immature college students surrounding him and asking questions and ASKING for HIS autograph, not MINE! Whenever I went abroad people knew this chimp Indian, now stalling my journey. I kept thinking, but I was the one, who owned fleet of fancy cars, wore Armani suits, my wrist was never touched by an ordinary watch. I never allowed anything but the best to decorate my house and my side (the wife was top model of the country), my palms never brushed against any damn cell phone…… the list is endless. I WAS SUCCESS PERSONIFIED. Then why these rustic barbarians, ugly unsophisticated foolish Indians are running behind this ……….. And MY PROCESSION HAD TO WAIT…….

I am often told to control my temper. Right from the childhood. I was never considered to be a good girl. One thing or another is always lacking in me. I often try to exercise self restraint and acquire cool airs. But my efforts often mock me. Only I know how hard I tried to fit in with everything and tried to be a really good girl.

Again I was sinking in self reproaching disposition. To beat that mood and to rationalize my clouded reasoning a bit, I decided to make tea at unearthly hour of 1:50 A.M… The dull ambiance was prompting me to at least spice up my tea a bit. I was trying to locate a bit of ginger in the fridge. Light coming from the fridge and the cool air as an added bonus planted a new thought and enlightened my rational part.

Whenever I shout, point a finger at someone, being illogical, uncaring or on a fault finding mission, at that time I am extremely mad with anger and passion. But now when I am rewinding the whole things in my life it seems people do the same thing with a cool disposition, without any fury or reason, unprovoked, without any baiting, 24 hours, seven days a week, thirty days a month and 365 ¼ days a year! With a cool head anyone can say and do anything, and suppose to get away with it? Certainly coolness is a great virtue.